Book 4 of the Mile High Romance series.
Kyle has stayed in an abusive relationship because he doesn’t believe he deserves anything better. He hands over his paycheck and his dignity for the sake of keeping the peace.
Jonathan lives an orderly life of routine and processes. When Seb asks him to look into a case against his ex, he hesitates. Not because he doesn’t want to help, but because he’s afraid this gentle and broken man might sully the tidy world he needs to function.
For mature readers.
Kyle has stayed in an abusive relationship because he doesn’t believe he deserves anything better. He hands over his paycheck and his dignity for the sake of keeping the peace.
Jonathan lives an orderly life of routine and processes. When Seb asks him to look into a case against his ex, he hesitates. Not because he doesn’t want to help, but because he’s afraid this gentle and broken man might sully the tidy world he needs to function.
For mature readers.
Excerpt:
The only family I have is my strung out mother and
she’s a thousand miles away in some trailer park. I wouldn’t call her for help
if my life depended on it. And, right now, it does.
she’s a thousand miles away in some trailer park. I wouldn’t call her for help
if my life depended on it. And, right now, it does.
My head is down and my hands are tucked into my
pockets when I hear someone call my name. At first, I don’t see anyone but then
I realize Seb is waving to me from across the street.
pockets when I hear someone call my name. At first, I don’t see anyone but then
I realize Seb is waving to me from across the street.
“Hey, Kyle. Wait up.”
Oh god. Of all the people to run into today, this
is probably worst-case scenario. Seb is the one who got away. The one I drove
away with my stupid comments and nagging about his drinking. I’ve never gotten
over him but he left one day without a backward glance. He probably forgot about me the moment he walked away.
is probably worst-case scenario. Seb is the one who got away. The one I drove
away with my stupid comments and nagging about his drinking. I’ve never gotten
over him but he left one day without a backward glance. He probably forgot about me the moment he walked away.
We see each other all
the time around town but he’s never stopped me to talk.
the time around town but he’s never stopped me to talk.
There’s only one thing he could want to talk
about. A few months ago, Bruce and I ran into Seb in a restaurant. He was on a
date with some hot blond guy who was clearly important to him. More important
to him than I ever was.
about. A few months ago, Bruce and I ran into Seb in a restaurant. He was on a
date with some hot blond guy who was clearly important to him. More important
to him than I ever was.
Bruce and I had been arguing, and I know Seb
overheard some of the hateful things Bruce said. Everyone in that damn
restaurant overheard him. He gets loud when he starts drinking and we were
several drinks into that evening.
overheard some of the hateful things Bruce said. Everyone in that damn
restaurant overheard him. He gets loud when he starts drinking and we were
several drinks into that evening.
I stand awkwardly on the sidewalk and wait for Seb
to make it to me.
to make it to me.
“Hey, Kyle. Thanks for waiting.” Seb points to the
juice shop behind us. “Do you have a minute to talk?”
juice shop behind us. “Do you have a minute to talk?”
“Um, sure.” It’s not like I’ve got anywhere else
to be.
to be.
Seb opens the door for me and I walk to an open
table by the window.
table by the window.
Please let
this be about the weather…
this be about the weather…
Once we’re seated, Seb rolls his shoulders then
clasps his hands on the table. “I’ve been meaning to get in touch with you for
a while.”
clasps his hands on the table. “I’ve been meaning to get in touch with you for
a while.”
“Why?” Just looking at him brings back all the
pain of when he left me. I thought he was it for me. He said as much to me and
then he left.
pain of when he left me. I thought he was it for me. He said as much to me and
then he left.
“I owe you an apology and explanation. I left and
I assumed you knew why, but I need to know you’re okay.”
I assumed you knew why, but I need to know you’re okay.”
“You don’t owe me anything. I’m fine, Seb.” Damn. I
can even lie better than I ever have before.
can even lie better than I ever have before.
“Are you?” He leans forward and those green eyes
pierce right through me. He could always see right into me. “Last time I saw
you… Well, that guy you were with was kind of a dick.”
pierce right through me. He could always see right into me. “Last time I saw
you… Well, that guy you were with was kind of a dick.”
“Well, thanks for your concern, but that’s over.”
“Since when?” He reaches toward me and I flinch at
the movement. Seb’s eyes go wide and he pulls his hand back but motions with
his fingers for me to turn to the side. “Cuz that cut on your cheek looks
pretty fresh.”
the movement. Seb’s eyes go wide and he pulls his hand back but motions with
his fingers for me to turn to the side. “Cuz that cut on your cheek looks
pretty fresh.”
I reach up and feel the small scab I didn’t even
realize was there. “Oh, I guess that’s from the…”
realize was there. “Oh, I guess that’s from the…”
I catch myself before going into details about
last night.
last night.
“From what?” Seb has a naturally friendly and open
expression but he looks anything but friendly right now. “What happened?”
expression but he looks anything but friendly right now. “What happened?”
“It doesn’t matter. What did you want to talk
about?” I cross my arms over my chest, hoping to change the subject back to
whatever he was so eager to discuss.
about?” I cross my arms over my chest, hoping to change the subject back to
whatever he was so eager to discuss.
“I want to apologize for how I left. I was pissed
at myself for losing my temper and hitting you. You didn’t deserve that and it
shouldn’t have happened.” He slowly reaches out and puts his hand over mine.
“I’m sorry for that. I lost it and I didn’t trust myself to never hurt you
again. That’s why I left.”
at myself for losing my temper and hitting you. You didn’t deserve that and it
shouldn’t have happened.” He slowly reaches out and puts his hand over mine.
“I’m sorry for that. I lost it and I didn’t trust myself to never hurt you
again. That’s why I left.”
“You didn’t have to leave,” I whisper. “I didn’t
want you to. I never wanted you to leave.”
want you to. I never wanted you to leave.”
“I did, Ky.” His hand squeezes mine. “You deserve
better than the man I was. That’s why it pissed me off so much when I saw you
with that asshole. Please tell me he doesn’t hurt you.”
better than the man I was. That’s why it pissed me off so much when I saw you
with that asshole. Please tell me he doesn’t hurt you.”
I turn away, unable to look him in the eye. This
is not a conversation I ever expected to have with Seb. Truthfully, I didn’t
think he’d ever speak to me again. But here we are, discussing how the best man
I ever met left me because he hit me one time when he was drunk.
is not a conversation I ever expected to have with Seb. Truthfully, I didn’t
think he’d ever speak to me again. But here we are, discussing how the best man
I ever met left me because he hit me one time when he was drunk.
Now that he’s opened up to me, I can’t hold back
the tears. The past day has been one of the most emotional of my life. I’ve
managed to hold it all together until now, but I can’t keep everything inside
anymore. I might have lasted a few more hours, until I found some privacy at
least, if Seb wasn’t so damn sweet.
the tears. The past day has been one of the most emotional of my life. I’ve
managed to hold it all together until now, but I can’t keep everything inside
anymore. I might have lasted a few more hours, until I found some privacy at
least, if Seb wasn’t so damn sweet.
Now that it’s open, I can’t do anything to close
the flood gate of my heart as everything comes gushing out. With a deep sob, I
drop my forehead onto our joined hands and have a good cry.
the flood gate of my heart as everything comes gushing out. With a deep sob, I
drop my forehead onto our joined hands and have a good cry.
“Fuck, Ky.” Seb slides his chair around the table
and holds me against his chest. “What the hell is going on with you?”
and holds me against his chest. “What the hell is going on with you?”
It takes several minutes for me to pull myself together
enough to even speak. And as much as I want to make up a lie, I can’t. Seb will
see right through any story I make up. So I lay it all out, telling him about
Bruce and my current situation of being broke and homeless.
enough to even speak. And as much as I want to make up a lie, I can’t. Seb will
see right through any story I make up. So I lay it all out, telling him about
Bruce and my current situation of being broke and homeless.
“Fuck, Kyle.” Seb slides away from me and runs his
hand through his short brown hair. “What happened to you? When you were mine,
you weren’t like—”
hand through his short brown hair. “What happened to you? When you were mine,
you weren’t like—”
Seb’s eyes go wide and all color drains from his
face. The sudden realization of what he thinks happened to me hits him like a
two by four. Gasping, he physically pulls away from me. “I did this to you.
It’s my fault you’ve allowed—”
face. The sudden realization of what he thinks happened to me hits him like a
two by four. Gasping, he physically pulls away from me. “I did this to you.
It’s my fault you’ve allowed—”
“No, Seb.” I sniffle and wipe my face with a
napkin. “Don’t. Don’t blame yourself. This is all me. I just make bad decisions…”
napkin. “Don’t. Don’t blame yourself. This is all me. I just make bad decisions…”
“Starting with me.” His voice is a rough whisper
that breaks my heart all over again. He doesn’t deserve any of the blame for my
fucked-up choices.
that breaks my heart all over again. He doesn’t deserve any of the blame for my
fucked-up choices.
“Seb, listen to me.” I wait for him to finally
meet my gaze again. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Even
though it didn’t last as long as I wanted it to, I wouldn’t give up one minute
of the time we had together.”
meet my gaze again. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Even
though it didn’t last as long as I wanted it to, I wouldn’t give up one minute
of the time we had together.”
“Except those last few minutes.” He shakes his
head, self-loathing evident in his entire demeanor. “The ones that broke your
spirit and made you think you deserved to be treated like shit. Fuck, Kyle, I’m
so sorry.”
head, self-loathing evident in his entire demeanor. “The ones that broke your
spirit and made you think you deserved to be treated like shit. Fuck, Kyle, I’m
so sorry.”
“Stop it, Seb. Don’t apologize. I wanted to be
with Bruce. I guess deep down I knew he wouldn’t ever change but I wanted to
try. I wanted him to love me someday. So much so that he’d eventually change
who he was. That’s not your doing. I learned that from my mother a long time
ago. She brought home loser after loser, letting men smack us around because
she thought they loved her. I swore I wouldn’t be like that, but clearly, the
apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
with Bruce. I guess deep down I knew he wouldn’t ever change but I wanted to
try. I wanted him to love me someday. So much so that he’d eventually change
who he was. That’s not your doing. I learned that from my mother a long time
ago. She brought home loser after loser, letting men smack us around because
she thought they loved her. I swore I wouldn’t be like that, but clearly, the
apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“Please don’t say that, Kyle. Don’t accept this as
your fate.” He leans forward with both elbows on his thighs. “You’re a good man
and you deserve so much better than what you’ve had. Please don’t give up on
yourself.”
your fate.” He leans forward with both elbows on his thighs. “You’re a good man
and you deserve so much better than what you’ve had. Please don’t give up on
yourself.”
I fake a smile and try to look confident. “Don’t worry,
Seb. I’m not giving up anything.”
Seb. I’m not giving up anything.”
I’ve got nothing left to give up on.
